Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Starting my blogging journey with a post about the fear of failure feels right. This is something that I struggle with personally, and the primary reason I have been procrastinating on writing my first blog post.
There are many things in my life that I have done in spite of my fear of failure. Such as going into my master’s program, getting my first therapist job, and even opening my own private practice.
Today I will share some of the things that help me overcome my fear of failure, in the hopes that it may be helpful for you as well!
First off, what is the Fear of Failure? And why is it important to overcome?
The fear of failure is actually quite common in society. We tend to place such high (and often unrealistic) expectations on ourselves; and often worry that we won’t live up to them. These expectations, generally tied to our need for external validation, can sometimes lead to a fear of falling short. We may find ourselves avoiding tasks, doubting our abilities, or worrying about what others may think if we fail.
Is this starting to sound like you? Here are ways that it may be showing up in your own life:
Believing that you don’t have the skills or knowledge to succeed at something
Feeling that your goals cannot be achieved
Procrastinating excessively, letting tasks pile up until they become overwhelming
Constantly worrying about how others perceive you and fearing judgment or rejection
Taking longer on tasks to ensure they are perfect, or abandoning them all together if they don’t meet your expectations of perfection
Thinking to yourself: “If I don’t try, I can’t fail”
Although avoidance may provide temporary relief from anxiety, it chips away at your self-worth in the long run, manifesting as low self-esteem, lack of motivation or self-sabotage.
If we allow our fear of failure to dictate our choices, we will never fully embrace life’s opportunities. Its time to take back control of your life!
Here are some strategies that have helped me overcome my fear of failure:
1) Consider the outcomes and redefine failure
Instead of dwelling on the worst-case scenario, reframe failure as a learning opportunity. By envisioning different outcomes and acknowledging that imperfection is part of the process, we can shift our mindset from fear to growth.
For months now I have been wanting to write blogs, but was worried that they would not be good, and so I never started. But I decided that I would never know if I did not start! So, I acknowledged to myself that since I am only starting to learn to blog, my first few posts would be mediocre at best. BUT, I reminded myself that it is simply a learning process and that it being imperfect means that I have room to experiment, adapt and improve!
2) Face fears gradually
Confronting our fear of failure can be daunting, so when we take small gradual risks, we can empower ourselves to expand our comfort zone. Each small step we take pushes us past our perceived limitations, building resilience and confidence.
When I set out to start blogging, I did not set high expectations for myself. I decided to just focus on this one post for now and take a good long breather afterwards (at least a week before I go tackle more). I’m also going to celebrate my achievement, no matter how minor, because it is an important small victory that will build momentum.
3) Identify and challenge limiting beliefs
Overcoming the fear of failure starts with recognizing and questioning the beliefs we hold about ourselves that are holding us back. By identifying these negative beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, we can actively challenge them. Then we can start replacing them with more empowering beliefs that affirm our worth and potential.
When I reflected on the beliefs I held that were stopping me from writing this first blog, the most prominent one was the thought that I am not a “good enough writer”. I suppose that in my head you had to be great from the get go. I would read other peoples blogs and think: “Ill never be that good!”. But here is the thing… I’m not them, I’m me! Am I the best writer? No. Will I ever be an incredible writer? Maybe…but probably not! BUT, I can be “good enough” for me!
4) Remember the cost of not trying
A quote that I repeat to myself when the fear of failure is tugging at my heart is: “Perfection is the enemy of action”. When we strive for perfection, it can prevent or delay us from taking action. This can lead to missed opportunities. This quote encourages us to embrace failure, imperfection, and take action, even if things are not perfect, because progress and learning come through action rather than waiting for perfection.
As I get to the end of this first blog I have started the process of checking for grammar mistakes and formatting errors. Wondering if I did everything “right”. Knowing me and my perfectionist tendencies, this process can take awhile. My gut reaction is to ask my friends and family look this over and make sure it’s “ok”, whatever that means. So instead, I am only doing a few passthroughs and pushing past my fluttering heart and hitting publish!
So I guess all that’s left to say is: enjoy the grammar mistakes and run on sentences!
Until Next Time!
-Émilie