“Don’t Touch Me, Don’t Talk to Me”: The Truth About Being Overstimulated

One Request Away From Losing It

Do you ever find yourself saying, “Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for anything”? Like you’re one request away from completely and utterly losing it?

That’s not you being dramatic.

That’s overstimulation. And it’s so common—especially for women, and especially for moms.

Let’s talk about what it looks like, why it happens, and some steps you can take to help yourself when you’re in it.

The Story You Might Know All Too Well

Let me paint a picture. Maybe it sounds familiar.

You’ve just finished a long, demanding workday. You had meetings, calls, things on your list, and even more things not on your list that you still had to deal with. People knocking on your door, asking for your opinion, pulling you in all directions.

You finally get home, and now it’s time to make supper. But of course, there are dishes. And of course, you open the fridge and realize you’re out of groceries. So you start mentally planning the next grocery run.

Then—wait—is there clean laundry? No socks for the kids? Bath time? Bedtime? Your brain is running in ten directions.

And in the middle of all that, your partner reaches out to lovingly stroke your arm and you’re like:
“Get. Off. Of. Me.”

They look confused.
“What did I do?”

You’re thinking: What did you do?! Look at all the things I’ve been holding together today.

It’s Not Just Physical—It’s Everything

This is something I hear from so many moms I work with—and I’ve lived it, too. Just last week, I snapped at my husband after a particularly tough moment with my toddler. He gently touched my arm and I immediately said, “Get off, don’t touch me.”

He looked so sad. And I felt bad. But I was just... done. I was touched out. And that’s a real thing.

When you’re pulled in every direction—at work, at home, physically, mentally, emotionally—it’s no wonder.

It’s not just making supper. It’s the dishes that come after. The groceries that now need to be replaced. The running checklist in your head. And the invisible labor that often goes completely unnoticed… until you don’t do it.

Kids, Clinginess, and That “Mama Do It” Energy

Let’s talk about kids. Because whether they’re two or six or older, they can be on you all the time.

My daughter is two and a half. She’s cuddly and clingy and I love it—but sometimes, I’m cooking and she’s pulling on my leg saying “Cuddle, cuddle” and I just… can’t.

Sometimes she’ll walk right past my husband—who is literally right there—and say, “Mama do it,” like opening a pouch or helping with a toy. And I’m already juggling a million things.

And I’m like: I love you. But please. Give me two minutes of peace.

It’s Not Just the Kids. It’s the House. The Noise. The Everything.

The stimulation isn’t just touch. It’s noise. It’s mess. It’s being “on” all day.

It’s wanting to just be you for five minutes—not someone’s partner, someone’s parent, someone’s manager of all things.

Sometimes you want to hide. And that’s not bad. That’s you trying to protect your nervous system.

For me? It’s the bathroom. “Going to the bathroom” is code for please let me breathe alone for a second.
Sometimes it’s the grocery store (without the kid). Sometimes it’s taking out the garage. Wherever you can find a pocket of peace.

Why We Snap

Here’s what I want you to remember:
You’re not overreacting. It’s not that you’re “too sensitive.”
It’s that there’s been too much.

When you’re always on—when you don’t get breaks—overstimulation becomes inevitable. Your system is going to hit a wall eventually.

So when your partner touches your arm and you flinch or snap or yell? That’s not about the touch. That’s about everything that came before it.

Who Were You Before Everyone Needed Something From You?

You are not a robot. You are not the Energizer Bunny. You are not “Supermom.”

You are a human being who deserves rest.
Alone time.
Stillness.
To just be.

Who were you before you were a mom? Before you were a spouse?

Alone time isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. And honestly, I’m tired of how acceptable it is for others to need space, but when a mom asks for it, it’s suddenly seen as a problem.

Alone Time is Not a Luxury—It’s a Need

My daughter goes to daycare, and sometimes I feel like I have to justify it. Like, “Oh, she’s in daycare because…”—and I’ll give some elaborate reason.

But the truth is, I’m a better mom when I have alone time. When I have space to rest, think, create, be myself.

That moment I snapped at my husband? It wasn’t just about the touch. It was about me not getting enough sleep. Not taking breaks. Not tending to myself.

And if you don’t take care of yourself, overstimulation becomes a given.

So What Can You Actually Do?

1. Build in Breaks—Even Micro Ones

Take micro-breaks throughout your day. Even if it’s just a minute of breathing, a few deep inhales by a window, or a quiet walk to the mailbox.

If you can, aim for at least 15 minutes of intentional alone time. And yes—you’re allowed to tell your partner you need it.

2. Block Out Noise

Noise is a big sensory trigger for me. So when I’m cooking or cleaning, I put on headphones—sometimes with an audiobook, sometimes with nothing—just to create a little sensory bubble.

3. Communicate Clearly

You don’t need to ask permission to meet your needs.
Try:
"I need 15 minutes. I’m going to lie down. Please take over."
That’s not rude. That’s healthy.

And no, your partner might not love it right away—but they’ll get used to it. And if they love you, they’ll start to understand.

You Are Not a Bad Mom for Needing Space

Let me say that again.

You are not a bad mom for needing space.
You can love your kids and still need time away from them.
You can love your partner and still want to be alone.

You’re allowed to take up space for yourself.

Let’s Reflect

If any part of this post made you feel seen, I’d love for you to take a quiet moment today and ask yourself:

• Where in my day could I build in even five minutes of space for myself?

• What’s one boundary I want to start practicing this week?

• What would change if I stopped apologizing for needing alone time?

You’ve got this.

Watch the full video version of this blog here: Touched Out and Overstimulated: You’re Not Overreacting — You’re Human